Breaking: Obama is NOT PRESIDENT

BECAUSE BUSH'S RETARD CHOICE FOR CHIEF JUSTICE IS EVEN LESS ADEPT AT ENGLISH-TALKING THAN W. This, I believe, is part of a cunning plot by the Bushies (or Rovers or Cheneyucks) to retroactively remove Obama from office (which he doesn't even officially hold now, but work with me) and re-install Goober-in-Chief Bush and his S.A. goons. MARK MY WORDS.

[EDIT: This argument will surely be proffered, posited, and promulgated by the anti-thinkingest Ass. Justice, Antonin "I'd Rather Be Practicing Zealous Constructionism Than Thinking!" Scalia, who regards the Constitution as a locked document unworthy of exhibiting flexibility or poised to reward thought and intelligent application, much like those folks who think the Bible is the literal history of the world and time, which has only existed for 4,000 years, you know. So basically, according to Scalia, why should we have a Supreme Court? Why pay for nine justices? We can just have someone who has his or her letters look it up in the Constitution. If it ain't in there, than it ain't thee law. The. End.]

This new conspiracy/meme will supplant the "Obama is not a natural-born American" chestnut effective immediately.

That is all.

Photo: Doug Mills/The New York Times