Showing posts with label b. Show all posts
Showing posts with label b. Show all posts

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Great Moments In Baltimore Journalism

Today in b, Baltimore's classiest free daily:
SUCK IT, SNOW!


Tomorrow's headline:
EAT SHIT AND DIE, WIND CHILL!







And coming this summer:
GO BUTTFUCK YOURSELF WITH NO LUBE,
MOTHERFUCKING HUMIDITY!!1!!1!!!!


Also, the Baltimore Examiner--the weird free paper for rich people, that only poor people read-- announced it was closing. Yes, the one helmed by the editor who allegedly pulled a shotgun on his neighbors. All charges were later dropped, much like his shitty newspaper.

Good riddance, and sorry to those fine journalists who were actually trying to do decent work there.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Spot the Douchebag!

See if you can identify the douchebag from the line-up of photos below!

#1:


Done? If you chose #1, "The Suspicious-Looking Cat-Brandishing Lady," you are correct! You've identified Anne Tallent, editor of b, Baltimore's potty-mouthedest free-tabloid!

See, what she did was, is she printed the word "douchebag" on the cover of b, the Baltimore Sun's free daily* (*weekends not included) for the mentally handicapped. Wanna see it? Behold!

Even worse: Want to read it?

So it actually got printed on Tuesday, September 16, and then, oddly, many people were all like, "WTF? You can't drop that word on the cover of a real paper, no matter how insipid and crappy and designed for people who are flummoxed by Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader it is!" And some of those people are reporters at the big boy paper, and they wrote to the editor of that equally-befucked up publication. They complained. And they cc:d Tallent, because they don't respect her and her gross little free paper ("Speculation, your honor!" "Sustained!"), and knew it would piss her off. Ding!

So she wrote a retort, which used this logic: the Sun reporters weren't allowed to be offended by the word, because b's readers use it "differently." And I think she also implied that they were old and therefore prone to offense-taking from "new ideas." And also ZING she totally sniped at them for going to the big boss with their whining. Oh also, she showed those old fogies! She pointed them right to where they stole this dim-witted idea from (thanks Radar!) Which somehow validates it? Thus, douchebag.

Hmm. Looking back on it now, I guess this quiz was a little too easy.

UPDATE: And so was my joke. Former Sun staffer Dan Fesperman posted this to Poynter.org:
If that's the way Anne feels, then I guess she won't mind a bit that my reaction to her memo is: "Wow, what a douchebag."