Friday, August 15, 2008

"Wait, are you telling me I got Jay McInerney's sloppy seconds?"

As we all know by know, Senator John Edwards is a big fat well-coiffed smooth-talking liar chav. Thanks to the nation's only real newspaper, the National Enquirer.

Sidebar: What is it with bright, hopeful, talented Southern lawyers with grand political aspirations? Why they such poontang hounds with such shoddy taste in tarts?

Anyway, after weeks of ignoring the story, Thee Maine Streame Mediae is now not only on the case, they (NYT) are finding out that things may not be as they seem.

But here's one element of the whole thing that is driving me cracker barrel crazy: Why are people complaining about these reports, citing that it's a "personal matter" that doesn't bear examination? Jeezus Keerist, the executive producer of The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer even censored coverage of the story! Both WaPostie David Broder and Salon's (etc.) Walter Shapiro were "shocked" by the news. How does that happen? Do these guys suck that badly at their jobs? (Probably, yes.)

Look, the man wanted to be PRESIDENT and he couldn't even effectively lie about boinking some aura-scoping kinda-nutty moniker-flip-flopping "documentarienne" well enough to pull it off (Also: Fox News classily manages to tie Rielle Hunter to the JonBenet Ramsay murder case!) And now Edwards's goddamn lawyers maybe gave away some hidden info with their ass-covering strategems? If Edwards couldn't even pull off getting a little on the side while his wife had death cancer (nice move!), I don't want him handling anything more complicated than a Jiffy Lube zoning.

In conclusion: I'm voting for REAL CHANGE:

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