Tortillaz In The Mist

"Touch the Zesty Guacamole flavor to your tongue and you'll taste what Quaker Tortillaz are all about."

The kindly pacifist Quaker icon dude must be thrilled. "You can never be too thin – or too crunchy" reads the marketing copy. That's not very Quaker, is it?

How about:
"You can never be too thin or too crunchy -- or too pacifist!"